#14 Things you probably would never know.

When I think of you, you sometimes burn a hole straight through my brain. Thats how frustrating it is to deal with your "silences". Though sometimes its just that i'm forgotten. Hahaha... oh well.

Update

Hello.

A lil update on life. Life is good , at the moment. It will soon take a down turn I predict.

1. I got my results.

I got my GPA for my first year. I was very very very very very very very disfiguredly unhappy. It is as if I could frown at my results till my face become disfigured. Instead of getting the 3.80/4 .0 I expected to get, my results dropped to 3.68. To many this is pretty much acceptable. However I am at large a very dissatisfied man due to the reason why I got such despairing results. It was because of my digital rendering ( 3ds Max).

We, students, are required to hand up 4 soft copies of the assignments, and 4 hard copies of the assignments. 4 soft copies handed up , Checked. 4 hard copies handed up, checked.

Results came up, all As , 1B+ for autocad drawing, and a "D" for Digital Rendering?

Found out, I have an incomplete submission. Only 3 of the 4 hard copies were received by the lecturer. Someone or somehow, after I handed it up , took it, or it was dropped to some corner like we see in cartoons of how objects are being dropped around and ended up in totally unfathomable places.

However through this I've learnt, when I put my trust in grades, God will not let me go on.

Conclusion, I will hereby put my trust in God, and enjoy the process of learning design, which is subjectively graded. Haha to the Irony of arts. =]

Valiante Vinceo.

Here's the thing.

People who know me, knows that when I say " here's the thing" it really means the conclusion, or the summary, or the most important thing is going to be said.

After 6 years I've realized a cycle.

1. Guy likes girl.

2. Girl is closed up, builds a forté around her and anything personal.

3. Guy backs off.

4. Girl feels comfortable, opens up a little.

5. Guy takes the chances.

6. Girl plays along for awhile, still thinking the guy has lost feelings for her. Having a good time of friendship.

7. Guy pops the question, girl gets real shock. Backs a thousand miles away. Builds up the forté again.

8. Guy feels horrible, thinks he's horribly sorry. Misses all the good laughs with her.

9. Guy still likes girl, but understands enough to know to back off.

10. After a few months, maybe half a year, girl thinks guy has lost his feelings for her already.

11. Girl opens up again.

Cycle goes on.

Here's the thing.

Now why? Why is the girl still opening herself to him, waving to him from afar saying hi, allows the guy to send her home ,shares to him her family stories.

Its currently at step 6.

It will NOT come to step 7.

But how long , dear God before this cycle ends.

" I'll be waiting for you, in the future." Chiaki - from the movie - The girl Who Leapt Through Time.

Lets see how long I can last in step 6.

Valiante Vinceo.

Vincent updates

Today is awesome. Well at least for the start. I got as to what I believe the most expensive birthday gift I've gotten so far. I was told it worths about 200$. A Box of COPIC MARKERS.... contributed by the same loving friends who tortured me with the Fillet-O-Fish filled with 17 packets of wasabi.

As for an update for me, I've been a lil tired from work. I have quite a few things on my mind that I need to do.

1. Design Studio - Year End Project - the workload is more than all the following combined.

2. Autocad Submission

3. Typography Research panels.

4. Ergonomics Research Presentation.

5. 3ds Max.

If you have free time do pray for me, as I DO know that some of you prayerful people are reading this blog. =]

As for her, I believe I have finally been able to put her behind and concentrate on what God has planned for me. My future is getting more and more unpredictable ( and busy, haha ), and I can only trust one person in this highly dense mist- Jesus.

I'll update soon.

Vincent,

Son of God, Mighty Conquerer.

Update.

Feeling kinda stressed up and crappy for the moment.

Yesterday I was being tied up to the story of the "self-horny man" according to a fellow classmate. She said when she was driving, a man waved a red coloured G-string. To make things worst, it was a malaysian car. Thus in her way of thinking, she keeps mentioning to all the classmates how horny Malaysian Men are in General. I said nothing and did nothing to defend, or my defendant of saying not all Malaysians are like that have fallen on deaf ears.

" There's no point arguing with people who are not so smart ( stupid )." Caleb.

or in other words, as I would see it, no point to debate with someone who won't take your point of view, because it becomes a preaching session instead of a debate.

Am I being to nice, allowing people to bully me, Crack Malaysian jokes. Saying I'm Malaysian in every "fail" action I do.

Arh...heck. Forget it. I'll take it in. hoping one day she will see.

Valiante

Update.

Feeling kinda stressed up and crappy for the moment.

Yesterday I was being tied up to the story of the "self-horny man" according to a fellow classmate. She said when she was driving, a man waved a red coloured G-string. To make things worst, it was a malaysian car. Thus in her way of thinking, she keeps mentioning to all the classmates how horny Malaysian Men are in General. I said nothing and did nothing to defend, or my defendant of saying not all Malaysians are like that have fallen on deaf ears.

" There's no point arguing with people who are not so smart ( stupid )." Caleb.

or in other words, as I would see it, no point to debate with someone who won't take your point of view, because it becomes a preaching session instead of a debate.

Am I being to nice, allowing people to bully me, Crack Malaysian jokes. Saying I'm Malaysian in every "fail" action I do.

Arh...heck. Forget it. I'll take it in. hoping one day she will see.

Valiante

School

Trying to set up hiding places in class to hide from the aneh security is so fun. =]

#13 Things you probably would never know.

Looking at your photos makes it hard for me to breathe, so stop asking, please... I need the focus for this four weeks, and maybe for the following 8 years.

Hello 2011

Dear 2010,

You have been more than a friend, and more than an enemy to me. Its been awfully delightful to experience you in different ways that I imagined, and maybe in ways I don't want to imagine. Its been both a pleasure and disgrace. It is in such stance I bid thee farewell, knowing I shall never see you again, and I'll never be the same. Thank you, I hate you.

hahahaha.... stupid words aye. Just let me bask in my rays of stupidity for a moment........ okay done.

Q1. What have you learnt in the past year?

A1. I've learn to be more mature, to understand that I have responsibilities to uphold and people are watching my every move. Furthermore, some people are following my foot steps. So I must be careful. Other than that, I've learnt to be careful when it come to trust, because it turns around and bite you hard when you out it in the wrong place.

I've also learnt that relationships are to be halted for me, for the moment. I mean I've been trying to understand for years why, but now I really do understand. And I believe she wants the same too.

I've also realized that I am seriously, seriously, seriously incapable of "maturing" or "moving" a relationship in my current stage of character growth. In other words, I see now that I really am not ready. ( to you guys that are reading this and think i'm so nutso. I did have problem understand, but i'm done)

Its been a nice day, Have to stop thinking and shut down.

Vincent: out.

Christmas Eve.

Christmas Eve,

If , and only if,

Down the little pastures,

I could live.

Across the beautiful stream,

Where the candle lights gleam,

with happy little children,

Smiling in a radiant beam.

There will as I wish,

All my tears and anguish,

will be left far beyond the past,

Where time has made its last.

Today is Christmas Eve,

Thank you Jesus for your gift.

I'll look upon grace,

and love your sweet embrace.

Vincent.

CALEB'S COMING BACK.

As the topic says. =]

Life, as an update/ Girls in miniskirts that makes me wanna take a peek.

Just a little update on what's happening to the life Vincent Tan Zhuguang.

I'm finishing the 6th or 5th week of my second semester of my 1st year in NYP doing diploma in space and interior design. Currently doing an all nighter to finish my Colour Studies Model, Model Making Model, and Studio Project Model. it is thus only just to say that i'm into modelling than any of you people out there. Furthermore i'm doing it without starving myself into a skinny piece of minimalism art - skin and bones. Quite the contrary, I'm actually gaining weight. Bad sign. Need exercise.

**The following will be very honest and you will see Vincent's thoughts clear and unblemished, so if you feel rather disgusted, or you don't know Vincent for who he is, press the "X" on the top right corner of this window, live long and prosper. =] **

Everyday, I face a constant struggle. Girls in poly these days are wearing clothes as if they are competing who has the least material on their body, or who can survive the air-con with the least clothing. Childish I would say, furthermore, inconsiderate. You girls may think , that I think , you're awfully hot and given a whole lot of attention . However, ironically, I think you're a beautiful woman, who lacks self esteem, who needs to show every property that you have, because you don't have a lot.

Saddening.

Noticeability ? Yes. But what kind. Respect ?

I will not respect. I notice you, yes. Very much noticed. But it shows how much respect you deserve.

Other than that, Some girls are really nice people, and I really want to dig deeper into them and find out more of the goodness they posses inside. However, "them" showing everything at one glance is absolutely discarding me of the chance of thinking of them in a proper and respected manner.

Saddening.

I still believe in a society, where girls wear respectably , and guys who treat girls with utmost respect, with better ease.

And I pray such a day will come.

I will take my first in praying for my intermediate friends , so that they will see themselves as precious. So that their " mystery" will be kept appropriately.

"The Least of these...",

Vincent

3 laws I believe in. ( part 1) - No divorce

Have you ever thought of how the world could be better. Just like any other humanitarians , Christians and many other people who would stand at the divider of decisions and choose to do the right thing and not follow the mindless followers of the ways of the world, I am vexed.

How is it possible that people who are thought to do right since young, spanked on the butt for telling lies, scolded for listening to metal music , taught morale studies in school - come to accept homosexual as a society norm ? Display obscene Music videos in public family stores? Allow music with suicidal, sexual , rebellious content to be awarded top of the music industry?

You may be reading this blog ( seriously you should just click the X sign on the top left corner of this window if you do not know me , enough ) and think "what the heck is this guy thinking? So old fashion~" I would reply that some rules have shown their worth to stay , and have stood strong since the beginning of age. For example, the law of marriage, it should never be broken, divorce should never exist , an oath made in front of God and man, for better or worse, for richer for poorer , in weaknesses and strength...


Till death do us part...

this is the most important law I , Vincent tan believe , is the most important law that should be held firm if a country ones to bloom. For it is as I see it, a country is made up of different levels of society, such as the higher class, middle class and the working class. A society is made up of different families, big ones, little ones, extended ones. And a family is made up of a pair of parents, and a child or children. =]

Now, picture a world with faithful parents.

No divorce.

No abortions.

No orphans.

No unwanted children.

No fatherless people.

The world would be filled with well brought up children groomed in a surrounding saturated with love from both parents. These children grow up and become people who lack no love. A girl will not be exchanging virginity for undependable love in their teenage years, because their father will provide them love, enough.


Thus, it concludes my first point. No divorce.

#12 Things you probably would never know.

Sometimes, hearing that you need help, I really really want to put down everything to help you. But for now, I can't. Who am I for you to deserve that? I'm nobody to you, though you are more than somebody to me.

#11 Things you probably would never know.

The irony of avoiding you and stepping towards you at the same time is rather a stepping stone to a higher place than a way of balance. Thanks to you , I've learnt to be more sensitive, sometimes too sensitive. Though currently I can't find myself with idiocracy sufficient to court you ( as I would think it as foolish given the time and money I have. Hahah , laughing to myself, who reads this blog anyway), I find it more than pleasant to be constantly in love with you. I take pride in such capability to love you thus long. May it be, or may it be not, when the time comes I pop the question that you would or would not step on my train aboard this eventful journey, I will look back and not regret, for I believe I have fought a good fight, and I will continue fighting, until I reach the price, which God has called to be heavenward.

Vincent

#10 Things you probably would never know.

Reading through the chat logs makes me smile. But knowing that everything I say to you are told to your leader makes me feel like my privacy is being infiltrated.

Passion

Studying in NYP for the past half a year, God held me on , I shall praise for that. Thank God again for the passion he has placed in me. Thank God for a friend , one with good resources, beside me.

However , sometime it can be really disheartening when you have so much joy, yet there is no one that understands and rejoice with you.

Like when you found a certain interesting information, but when you tell it to someone else, they think i'm too obsessed with my course and think i'm spoiling the market.

God I pray for my classmates that they will have the same passion as I do. That they may share my joy, my happiness, my interest and be happy as I am.

Vincent.

Update

Ever thought that life was more than we see? Have you ever face a decision you know will change the following days of your life forever? Have you ever stand at the divided road where one points "The path of the world" and the other points "The path of God ".

Have you ever met the decision when you choose between God and the world, where you follow God, or compromise . I'm going to choose Jesus, and I'll never Compromise. Though his ways are narrow, but his burden light.

#9 Things you probably would never know.

If you had written a blog, I would read it over and over again until I have it stuck in my head, though you have a lot of grammar problems in your . Haha

Psalms 24

Psalm 24 (New International Version)

Psalm 24

Of David. A psalm.

¹ The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it;

Everything on earth belongs to Jesus, he has authority over you and me, He commands my victory, he holds the path to my success, and he has power over all the evil for the earth is the lords and everything in it, THE WORLD, and ALL who live in it.