beauty

Listening to Corrine May , 

I naturally moved my body slowy , 

making arches with arms , 

bending , turning slowly , 

feeling freedom ,

Appreciating the art of dance. 

I found myself to really like ballet .

Or maybe modern ballet , if there is such a thing .

But I guess I'm just too heavy weight for that kind of thing .

Maybe i should just keep this a secret of mine , 

and face my windows that acts as a mirror at night .

Seriously , I should be more optimistic .

and seriously , I think its about i time i should get back .

and seriously , I should learn to listen to advices , for example the " despo theory ",

Danny said i was going through .

Ivy Gan Shea Yin . Lovely name don't you think ?

she's sweet . 

A mesmerising smile . Beautiful lips .

she has an elegant posture . 

attractive eyes . 

speaks english , yet has a strong chinese base .

the kind i would always have wished for .

is she going to be the one .

gosh , i remember the last time I felt like this ,

the last time I let my heart flail .

remembering the times i was burnt out ,

emo-lised . 

I hated all that . 

Just because she didn't love me the way I love her . 

will history repeat itself ?

wake up fatboy .

Run .

Haivng weird dreams lately .

only to find they were all very meaningful.

dream 1: I was crying , being touched by God .

dream 2: I was forced into an arranged marriage by my parents . with a 12 year old girl . I'm not going to say who

dream 3: I was chased by zombies . 

seriously , nobody would have understood these dreams.

Until joseph told me the meaning ,

1. God showed me he was going to change me , heal me from inside , thats why i'm crying .

2. My parent's represent a authority figure . And god shows me that i have to trust him , when it comes to love matters .

3. i'm chased by problems that never die , I should face them instead of running .

besides that , i'm seeing things .

like people who look exactly like yee sue anne .

there was this girl in form 2 in my school ,

i was stunned at how similiar her features were alike of sue anne .

she did that exact same " look up " move sue anne gave me during teenz camp .

seriously , i hate it .

i hope she has already understood what i meant .

and forgiven me  .

sadly.

valiante