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Sometimes life goes round and round . 

It seems to never be found .

Maybe it wasn't that profound .

Only in the time when you are down .

Where only thoughts could be heard ,

Our hearts connect .

Voices sound absurd ,

A fury aimless intelect .

Maybe , just maybe  .

It was my feelings for you ,

Were the ones ; complicating .

Nowhere else have I found another ,

compatible , comparable , replaceble .

Anguished : Maybe ?

Torn : Past .

Different : Absolutely .

Valiante Vinceo . dedicated to someone .

-

to love is wise , to forgive is beauty .

My girlfriend and I .

No. I do not have a girlfriend yet . Its a title of a Korean movie . It was sad .

. . .

In the last parts of the story , the girl died of leukemia . The guy watches her die slowly .

. . .

The girls last wish is to visit an island . A typhoon happened . The guy couldn't bring her there . She had her last thoughts . Thinking " I'm sorry I loved you , I'm sorry I made you loved me too ."  And she let out her last breath . 

She died .

I thought . . .

If L33 would die first , would I cry like that guy did ?Or should the question be ...

" Would I be sad at all . . . "

   Do I still love her ?

Questions . . . my best enemy . . . however much I hate you , I still need you to go on .

I don't know . 

If you were to die first , would I survive ?

I don't know .

If you were to die , would i still be happy ?

I don't know .

Will I keep myself solitary , alone ?

I don't know .

Valiante Vinceo

Update

Am I craving for Love ? Good question , I have no answers .

Its like a universal question people ask from time to time . The thing is , who isn't .

So , the next question would be , am I normal ? Is it okay to be normal ? for me .

Maybe , maybe , distinct answers may come , like roots of a quadratic equation . 

Desperate ? ... .. . maybe . .. ...

Should I be ? ... .. .  I think so . .. ...

One Scientific reasoning I've learnt today .

" The only Sex problem is Not having sex , the rest is just preference and agreements "

I Do not agree . I'm still a 24/7 against homosexuality . 

I'd rather you stay a virgin then become homo .

sometimes ppl wouldn't want to read a whole long roll of blog writing unless its interesting . But hell cares who read it . I dun care if you finish reading this , because it just shows how much you care . 

I'm running a diet plan . So far its working . I've lost 2kgs . Yeah , I'm happy . 

I've kept my guitar . Because I can't study with it beside my table .

I'm starting to like Frank Sinatra . And his " Something Stupid " is officially my favourite song .

My favourite line is when they repeat 

" ...and then I go to spoil it all by saying something like I LOVE YOU ...."

Finally somebody understands that maybe saying I love you is stupid . Just sometimes.

Camp is coming , I'm thinking of yee sue anne  . I'm actually pretty much afraid to meet her , If she does come for camp . Of which I'm indecisive whether should I or should I not look forward to .  Seriously , I'm messed up . Is it her fault , or is it mine ? If its mine , does she thinks so ? IF its hers , does she admits so ?  Questions ... my best enemy , no matter how much I hate you , yet i need you to go on . 

I need money . No seriously . I can't burden my parents anymore . I know they don't have much to offer when it comes to money . Yet I am still thankful .

I need to clear my room . 

I need life , to be healthy .

I need God .

I dislike you alvin . No i dun hate you , i just dislike .Not enjoyable to be around you . Don't ask why , its just you . Hope I'll one day like you  . Maybe ?

Wei wan , I dunnoe ... I only call you because i'm lonely . So please don't ignore me , eventhough i know you are busy . And I know you are still worried that I might love you again . But no , I don't think so . I'll see what the future beholds .

Rosevelt , its just a code name for another sweet girl in my life  . I don't love  . I may like you , but no , I dun love you . You're young , live , carpe diem .

JC , you need the smilling pills manufactured by GOD Sdn. Bhd . It'll work , I promise. =]

Chians , have I lost you  ? I dunnoe . Should I continue to care , and pray ? I don't know . I'm not much in your lives anymore . I'm sorry , I really am .

Eunice , come to church because God love you , so much that he gave his life . First be to god, then to friends . Or else , please ......

I'm having a headache .

I miss tebrau .

Rachel , I'm worried about you . 

Kian Yee , open your eyes and ears . You'll see God is too real to be said UNreal .

Pei yun , I'm sorry , I can't keep my mouth shut sometimes and go overboard . Really sorry .

Alvin lim . I love you , brotherly . And I don't understand what happens in you . Only Jesus can help you . I'll introduce you to him . 

life is good , when it is good .

Is someone tells you a christian life is easy , that is the furthest form the truth . If tis easy for you , are you compromising ?

I hate gays , and anything close to that. 

Caleb I miss you  .

Agnes , staying a virgin is all I hope you will be . I really am worried sometimes . Not that i love you , no far from that , but i do care for you . =]

I Miss my old friends  in tebrau . like joshua .

I want to jam with some "holy lighters" . I want to meet jaslyn one day . and her sister  . They're  real cool folks . should be interesting talking to them .

I need to stop laughing sometimes .

its 1:15a.m. I need to sleep .

Poof out.

Valiante Vinceo .

time , life , parents. not there .

These few days have been usual , eventhough people who knew my life would say I'm not . Come'on , seriously , how can ok be usual , when not okay is the usual . Apparently, i think i hsould outgrow my youthful naiveness and smack head into reality1 . I should stop look down at how pitiful I think I am , and look on the bright side and love God . 

Stupid Humans .

We're all stupid . Humans , yes exactly , humans are 100% stupid . We are always unsatisfied . We have a crave for more food than we need . We have a taste for beauty , that isn't an nescescity in life . We are willing to hurt ourself , thinking we will get a greater benefit by doing so( stupid youthful , puppy love ) We do things that are wrong , and make entertainment out of it . We accept things that a logical animal would understand its not right , We sometimes love the same sex , and mate , something that even animals understand that it can't be right . I can't believe how possibly more stupid humans can be  ...  I mean , COME"ON!!!!! wake you filthy gays and idiotic lesbians !!!! GOD CREATER A HOLE AND A STICK TO FIT IN NICELY , EVEN KINDERGARDEN KIDS UNDERSTAND TWO STICKS DUN FIT, AND TWO HOLES DUN WORK .

Love yourself , please . 

If you can't find love , Find God . He's got plenty to spare . Don't join the idiocity of anti-christ . They are the worst of " brain-ed kind ".

I read revelation , and I cried . I know ~ I know~ ...... .. . . .. . . I cried .

it was the part where it says ." I am Knocking at your door , whoever opens the door , i will come in and eat with , and him with me "

I could interpret it as . ....... Company.

We're all looking for companys . We got lonely , and thats normal , cause made us like that . That we may fellowship and grow . 

I've been impossibly lonely . .. . .. .    .      . a bit . Its the NOT usual . Cause i'm never lonely . But why ? Is loneliness the real reason of my agony ? Or was it because I'm being appreciated ( enough ) ? 

thinking back it may be . My parent's think of my as a very independant person . I can survive with just food . No problemo. They can love me here , and minister to others for like TWO WEEKS , and they expect that i treat them as if they're not gone . Do they appreciate me as their son . I don't know . 

I have talents . I go for competitions . Starting early , I had Choral speaking . I got into the states competition , and they have never been there to support me in anyway . Fine , strike one . Still bearable . I dance for my school event . They're not there . Fine , strike two , still bearable . I acted drama in my primary school event . They're not there . Strike three . I played guitar , I played for church , had my first concert . They're not there . Strike four . I played chinese yoyo , had Three different performances . they're not there . Strike 5 . I played guitar for a functions for Trinity Rockschool . Not there ! Maths E.nopi Competition . Came in late . 

Today , I played for another music schools function . They're not there . I had to follow my friends parents there . Are they really that busy ? My dad's watching a japanese movie when I came back . And my mom the famous busy body was sleeping . AND WHY ????? Becuase She's So busybody , she was helping thomas to do a chinese maritual ritual ( ti2 ching1) . 

Okay , if you're gonna say they were tired because of the bible quiz in the morning . COME ON !!!!! YOU MISSED ALMOST EVERYONE OF MY PEFORMANCES . ARE YOU GUYS SO BLIND THAT YOU DUN SEE THAT I NEED SOME SUPPORT HERE .  

Mom : Stop stepping into other peoples business , and leave your " PRIORITY WORK " to me . I'm not gonna help you . I need you freaking attention . Stop talking on the phone . no seriously i mean it , you're neglecting your main priority as a mother .  

Dad : You've done a good job being a dad , I just need more time from you . 

conclusion : my parent's support has been given to the church , and they are partly ( mostly ) not giving me enough attention . . . as a teenager . So you weaklings , and heavy laden people , Be of gratitude , i'm sacrificing something here , so that you may be blessed.

I'm lonely . I need you God .