time , life , parents. not there .

These few days have been usual , eventhough people who knew my life would say I'm not . Come'on , seriously , how can ok be usual , when not okay is the usual . Apparently, i think i hsould outgrow my youthful naiveness and smack head into reality1 . I should stop look down at how pitiful I think I am , and look on the bright side and love God . 

Stupid Humans .

We're all stupid . Humans , yes exactly , humans are 100% stupid . We are always unsatisfied . We have a crave for more food than we need . We have a taste for beauty , that isn't an nescescity in life . We are willing to hurt ourself , thinking we will get a greater benefit by doing so( stupid youthful , puppy love ) We do things that are wrong , and make entertainment out of it . We accept things that a logical animal would understand its not right , We sometimes love the same sex , and mate , something that even animals understand that it can't be right . I can't believe how possibly more stupid humans can be  ...  I mean , COME"ON!!!!! wake you filthy gays and idiotic lesbians !!!! GOD CREATER A HOLE AND A STICK TO FIT IN NICELY , EVEN KINDERGARDEN KIDS UNDERSTAND TWO STICKS DUN FIT, AND TWO HOLES DUN WORK .

Love yourself , please . 

If you can't find love , Find God . He's got plenty to spare . Don't join the idiocity of anti-christ . They are the worst of " brain-ed kind ".

I read revelation , and I cried . I know ~ I know~ ...... .. . . .. . . I cried .

it was the part where it says ." I am Knocking at your door , whoever opens the door , i will come in and eat with , and him with me "

I could interpret it as . ....... Company.

We're all looking for companys . We got lonely , and thats normal , cause made us like that . That we may fellowship and grow . 

I've been impossibly lonely . .. . .. .    .      . a bit . Its the NOT usual . Cause i'm never lonely . But why ? Is loneliness the real reason of my agony ? Or was it because I'm being appreciated ( enough ) ? 

thinking back it may be . My parent's think of my as a very independant person . I can survive with just food . No problemo. They can love me here , and minister to others for like TWO WEEKS , and they expect that i treat them as if they're not gone . Do they appreciate me as their son . I don't know . 

I have talents . I go for competitions . Starting early , I had Choral speaking . I got into the states competition , and they have never been there to support me in anyway . Fine , strike one . Still bearable . I dance for my school event . They're not there . Fine , strike two , still bearable . I acted drama in my primary school event . They're not there . Strike three . I played guitar , I played for church , had my first concert . They're not there . Strike four . I played chinese yoyo , had Three different performances . they're not there . Strike 5 . I played guitar for a functions for Trinity Rockschool . Not there ! Maths E.nopi Competition . Came in late . 

Today , I played for another music schools function . They're not there . I had to follow my friends parents there . Are they really that busy ? My dad's watching a japanese movie when I came back . And my mom the famous busy body was sleeping . AND WHY ????? Becuase She's So busybody , she was helping thomas to do a chinese maritual ritual ( ti2 ching1) . 

Okay , if you're gonna say they were tired because of the bible quiz in the morning . COME ON !!!!! YOU MISSED ALMOST EVERYONE OF MY PEFORMANCES . ARE YOU GUYS SO BLIND THAT YOU DUN SEE THAT I NEED SOME SUPPORT HERE .  

Mom : Stop stepping into other peoples business , and leave your " PRIORITY WORK " to me . I'm not gonna help you . I need you freaking attention . Stop talking on the phone . no seriously i mean it , you're neglecting your main priority as a mother .  

Dad : You've done a good job being a dad , I just need more time from you . 

conclusion : my parent's support has been given to the church , and they are partly ( mostly ) not giving me enough attention . . . as a teenager . So you weaklings , and heavy laden people , Be of gratitude , i'm sacrificing something here , so that you may be blessed.

I'm lonely . I need you God .