Which Am I ?

It is time.

After some talks and consideration, I've come to a conclusion where I need to face the man in the mirror again. I have to look deeper this time. I've to know him better, because I know all but enough of him. I'll conquer him, and control him. I must , I must. God , help me.

Thy will be done, on earth, as it is in heaven.

Help me Lord, for these feelings are hard for me. Please take them away. I surrender it up to you, every single bit of feelings, every part of my soul she conquered. Lord, renew me, make me new. Help me grow stronger, and steadfast in your love. Help rely on your merciful arms of grace.

Unto you, I lay my burdens, my fears, my foolish love. Away from me shall my romance part, till the day you choose to open your mouth and announce "it is time"that I shall once again awaken my romance.

Put to sleep in me, that hungry being , lost for affection, disgraced by imperfections.

Thank you.

Vincent.

Remembering the days of love.

Remember the days when life had its momentum, when you had a passion for the most banal and senseless things, when everything doesn't need to make sense, when we could all just love without much thought. I didn't have that . I was different. I saw the danger people didn't see. I saw the potential, and the idiotic pointless puppy love that mingled among the mindsets of my generation.

I thought I was wise, I thought I was thinking a level higher. God, was that your plan ? That I never had an experience of mindless romance. Though lowly and immature it may be, but it seems that I've missed something in life. Someone potentially linked to me.

Maybe I do want to be in love again.

Maybe I really do want to love without holding back, again. Hopefully this time, I will not regret.

When the time is right.

I'll be waiting, Love.

I want to make you last for as long as I live.

I want to make you flourish with the other half of me.

I want to make you give birth into something good - a family.

I want to see you living up to what they you are.

I'll wait, though my heart longs for more.

Love,

Vincent.

Moving on.

I'm moving on.

Vincent- desire

What on earth is your desire?

I want to say its God. I really want to. However thinking closely, observing my own thoughts, I realize I have to come to the fact that God isn't my desire. When I wake up in the morning, God isn't the first thing I think of. When wait aimlessly in the car, God isn't the subject of my wondering .

I want to move forward, I want to break free. Or do I?

She's a very nice distance away from me. Its like the earth and moon, a force is pulling them apart, yet on the contrary, a force is holding them together.

I can't run from her, she will always be in my life one way or another. And I can't get closer to her, because every time I try, a catastrophe happens.

Remembering Victor's theory, which said that why I still loved her, is because I have no reason not to. Since then, I've been trying very hard to find her flaws, and I've found a few.

However, her weaknesses are like the wind blowing through , easily forgettable and forgiven, understood with patience and overcame by my foolish , youthful, pointless love.

I'll hate myself for being loyal idiotic fool who fell so deep in love, that though I came in light, I am still blind.

I can't for life to go faster to see what can happen. I'll see when i'm 24.

Valiante