Vincent- desire

What on earth is your desire?

I want to say its God. I really want to. However thinking closely, observing my own thoughts, I realize I have to come to the fact that God isn't my desire. When I wake up in the morning, God isn't the first thing I think of. When wait aimlessly in the car, God isn't the subject of my wondering .

I want to move forward, I want to break free. Or do I?

She's a very nice distance away from me. Its like the earth and moon, a force is pulling them apart, yet on the contrary, a force is holding them together.

I can't run from her, she will always be in my life one way or another. And I can't get closer to her, because every time I try, a catastrophe happens.

Remembering Victor's theory, which said that why I still loved her, is because I have no reason not to. Since then, I've been trying very hard to find her flaws, and I've found a few.

However, her weaknesses are like the wind blowing through , easily forgettable and forgiven, understood with patience and overcame by my foolish , youthful, pointless love.

I'll hate myself for being loyal idiotic fool who fell so deep in love, that though I came in light, I am still blind.

I can't for life to go faster to see what can happen. I'll see when i'm 24.

Valiante