Ventolin inhaler .

I doubt i can take another breathe comfortably without the VENTOLIN INHALER ...

It really sucks living with asthma . Mine's not fatal yet , I'll tell you at my funerel when it is .

Anyway , live's been great . Or so far ..... great . I've been undoubtfully slacking , eventhough I've just gone through my term exams ... of which only 1 day have I attended due to the quarantined I've been given . MUAHAHAHAHA~~~~

I've decided to let this blog be as it is . I've tried to delete the sensitive posts ... Hope that anyone who visits this blog don't dig into my archieves , Eventhough I seriously believe that you are thinking about it this very moment . =]

School's been entirely in a slacking phase . I've never felt like this before going to school. Basically I've only brought my water bottle , pencil box and a scrap book to school today. But oh well, it wasn't all that bad today . My bio teacher thought us about Biology chapter 4 . We were all soooooo excited about it . But also , we loathe every bit of memory work on the female reproductive organs and its processes . Seriously , we " man " are just sooo simple .

Thats about it for today's updates and so called juicy news . God Bless you all . and take care.

With greatest regards .

Vincent

... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

You are the tickling feeling at the back of my head , at the bottom my heart .

But i'm not .

Thank you ,Titus for " Fix My Eyes " .

updatte

As like many other Saturdays , i attended TEENz . Listened to the very amusing message today - Hell's Bell . Fell asleep despite the topic was music. I love music .

Today I played two sessions . Enjoyed non . I couldn't feel God , I couldn't worship . However , unlike many other problems , I knew the reason to this one . I was paying more attention in getting the raw bassist in beat than focusing on God . During the second session , I had really dry hands , the strings were rough , the drummer was inexperienced . All but a great dismay , wasted my time . My questions is , did anyone benefit from my meaningless sacrifice ?

I hope so .

In the past few days , God has shown me more things in life , in growth and in the path to greater maturity . I've learnt from my many disputes with my mom , that every women is a package deal , or maybe I should rephrase that as , every person is a package deal . You have the pros , you have the cons .

It is then , I saw Ms. J's cons . I shall not go into detail about her imperfections as it would be considered a terrible act . So back to the point . . . I've always thought I've seen the worst of her , and I could accept all that . And it was so i thought she was perfect for me . But it was then at my point of delight , God reminded me of this weakness . It stunned me , gave me a hard smack on my cheeks . and made me think again . Is she the one , are you sure ?

Second thoughts are always great , as it equates balance and self acknowledgement .

On second thought , why am I even thinking about any of these .

What's mine will be mine eventually ; what's not , will never be .

Besides , so what if God tells me its her , am I ready to marry ?

However the human nature is Idiotic when it comes down to love .

I hate it when it comes to that .

Ah . . . so many challenges I've learnt . . . and all the credit belings to Ms.J . She's such an interesting . . uhm . . . . . Friend .

Thinking back the days , where I would joke about her large exposed forehead , her unique laughs that I've never heard elsewhere , her inability to pronounce certain English words , her chubby little face . It has been a long memorable 4 years . The happiness , the pain , the excitement , the disappointments . . . its all but a memory now .

I wonder if that friendship still holds its stand ?

valiante vinceo .

PS: If you are reading this , please dun speculate about this blog . I want to keep it as private as possible . However , I'm lazy to make it private and invite all the people . So please coorperate.

Lifeless and Dead

Recently , My eyes have seen .

So much more , the beauty and the broken .

The life and sacrifice ; the death and cruxifiction .

A generation , far profound in sin ,

Far distinguished from holiness .

Where compromise seems essential to survive.

Where should I lay my life ,

If not in the hands of the creator ?

How should I live my life ,

If not for the saviour ?

Answers we lived .

Answers we show .

Answers we give .

To the next generation who will lift our sins to greater Heights .

I see beauty in the broken ,

And I know someone who does too .

But do we acknowledge his glory , his splendour .

Do we still worship ,

Not with fancy words ,

But with our lives ?

Living for his glory ;

Writing with my minor hand .

He never said it would be easy ,

but he said he would see us throught the storm .

up.datte

Sometimes life goes round and round . 

It seems to never be found .

Maybe it wasn't that profound .

Only in the time when you are down .

Where only thoughts could be heard ,

Our hearts connect .

Voices sound absurd ,

A fury aimless intelect .

Maybe , just maybe  .

It was my feelings for you ,

Were the ones ; complicating .

Nowhere else have I found another ,

compatible , comparable , replaceble .

Anguished : Maybe ?

Torn : Past .

Different : Absolutely .

Valiante Vinceo . dedicated to someone .

-

to love is wise , to forgive is beauty .

My girlfriend and I .

No. I do not have a girlfriend yet . Its a title of a Korean movie . It was sad .

. . .

In the last parts of the story , the girl died of leukemia . The guy watches her die slowly .

. . .

The girls last wish is to visit an island . A typhoon happened . The guy couldn't bring her there . She had her last thoughts . Thinking " I'm sorry I loved you , I'm sorry I made you loved me too ."  And she let out her last breath . 

She died .

I thought . . .

If L33 would die first , would I cry like that guy did ?Or should the question be ...

" Would I be sad at all . . . "

   Do I still love her ?

Questions . . . my best enemy . . . however much I hate you , I still need you to go on .

I don't know . 

If you were to die first , would I survive ?

I don't know .

If you were to die , would i still be happy ?

I don't know .

Will I keep myself solitary , alone ?

I don't know .

Valiante Vinceo