Day 3. Judgement

Proverbs 31:9 " Speak up and judge fairly , defend the rights of the poor and needy. "

1. I've studied 40 pages of biology , seriously not up to planned , which was 70 . I've realised that i really need to concentrate hard to save time , as I've wasted much on health , and idleness.

2. I've failed once again on praying . I plan to wake up tomorrow and pray . God help me .

3. I've read proverbs and found it benefiting . Proverbs 31 speaks of fighting for justice , but the second part of the verse speaks of a wise and perfect wife. Of what she does , and of the things she is praiseworthy . Truly have i learnt that a prudent wife comes for the lord. And I'll believe it is worth waiting .

4. I've failed to seek God's kingdom first .

5. Glory to God , and all praise unto him only , for the giving me strength and wisdom to top the class in the subject of EST . I am deeply grateful.

6. Is it wise to fight someone as big as the examination board of johore ? For giving answers that are subjective in an objective question . ( Friends are ______ in our lives . A. Vital B. Essential C. Critical . . . Answer A , I chose B ) ... " No Vincent , I can't give you correct because the scheme says no . " " teacher then can we give them a feedback or complain ?" " Uh... no .. i think if there is a change they will call us to have ea meeting " OF WHICH IS LOOOOOONG AFTER OUR MARKS ARE KEY-ed INTO THE COMPUTER ,AND ANY CHANGES WOULD BE INEVITABLE!!! " We have a fantastic education system , be gratified.

7. I've been thinking , what is the difference of revenge and justice ?

8. I want to make a difference in Malaysia , esp in the education area. I will speak only the truth , and will not stand down when being accused wrongly .

9. I want to love .

10. God help me be faithful and true .

Vincent

Day 2 . When my jouney meets perseverance

Proverbs 30:5 . "Every word of god is flawless ; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him .

1. Its incredibly amazing how God's words can speak like a double edged sword through your heart.

2. I've read the bible .

3. I've endured anger and kept my patience today .

4. I've failed to pray again today .

5. I've studied 40 pages of biology. Its pretty interesting .

6. Have been thinking of the ways to preach gospel to my classmates.

7. Have been thinking should ask about her results ?

8. Have been thinking of how I should talk about the the selection of our music with relation to our righteousness and loving God.

9. Have been thinking of how I should the cell group ?

10. thinking about what she said the other day . Am I that suppressing , am I always the kind that feels I'm always right ?

questions ?

I need answers .

God be my solution .

Vincent.

Day 1 - continuation .

" Friends are the family you choose ."

Argh~ i've failed in praying today .

I did read the bible though .

In proverbs 27 : 5 . Better is an open rebuke than hidden love . Wounds fro a friend can be trusted , but an enemy multiplies kisses .

I studied Ad.maths with a bunch of friends , on the chapter , binomial distribution. Gosh i need to practice .

Went to B.M tuition . Learnt about the literature drama , Kerusi , which is a story to indirectly humiliate Dr.Mahathir . But oh well , such are the days of wickedness .

Went to Jusco TebrauCity with xi zhe to buy some books . Had KFC for 2nd dinner. Bought 2 books , Wrapped them up . Took me more time than I thought I needed.

Plan to finish Biology revision in this week . Though it seem impossible , but i believe in two verses , 1. I can do all things through christ who strengthens me , 2. The joy of the lord is my strength.

May it be , may it be ... dear god help me .

Vincent

Day 1 - A new beginning .

Its Monday , and i've decided i'll start a new life . From this day on , i will ...

Blog everyday (when time permit) to show my progress of life , to myself , and as an assurance and a promise to the people around me that I will become a better servant of God.

I will pray and read proverbs this month .

I will write roughly on what i've studied ( just to show myself what I've acomplished ) .

I will write on what God has thought me that day , =]

Signed with hope ,

VINCENT TAN ZHUGUANG .

thinking.

I'm thinking ,

That maybe I should let you know ,

that I need to leave all these behind ,

including you .

I'm thinking ,

That maybe I should let you go ,

beyond my reach ,

into the path you should go .

I'm thinking ,

That maybe it is right ,

to leave you into God's hands ,

and erase this memory and history .

I'm thinking ,

That maybe I should forgive myself ,

for hating you ,

of all these challenges you've given me .

I'm thinking ,

That maybe I should believe in myself ,

that I can face you head on again ,

without feeling the guilt inside.

I'm thinking ,

That maybe I should give myself to death ,

let it consume me ,

and make all of these go away ,

But I can't .

Vincent.

Random Flowers

Sometimes I wonder , what is my goal in life ?

What do I really want ?

Would I be able to say ,

"I want to live for God"

Without being influenced by the religious demands ?

I don't know .

Do I want to love , knowing I will still be disappointed?

Should I be the one to blame for my own mistakes ?

Am I talking gibberish , and being used by the devil in my weaknesses ?

When do all these emotions start to cloud my decisions ?

What should I be hoping for ?

I don't know.

I feel vexed , at the corner of my stability ,

between the world and righteousness .

Where am I?

What am I ?

Who am I ?

Why am I ?

How am I ?

I don't know .

Maybe , I don't want to know.

Vincent.

Updatte

( I've never seen jusco so quite before )

I fear I've lost the patience in waiting for blogger's system to go in parallel with my thoughts , and solve the "photo uploading problem " . It really is sucky , becuase I do believe in " A picture paints a thousand words " , because it does . That is why most art work cost more than books . =] However I've finally realised that the problem lies with agreeing with the new "terms and agreement" box that I have to tick , of which nobody reads anyway .

Anyway , the week has been quite a bash , played games till late night , watch 4 movies in a row , go out for church , had a good jam out with xi zhe on cool jazz , watched G-force , and felloshiped with Joseph and Terence .

Sunday :I didn't really planned to watch the show actually . Didn't have the desire and the expectancy and the feeling of looking forward to it , when I wanted to watch the show . But it turned out pretty good I must say . The graphics were passable , the story line was fine , the action was good , and the Gadgets were AWESOME . I liked their bikes , which actually is a spherical-running-bike . I couldn't find the photos though , so . . . you have to watch the show for yourself . hahaha . . .highly reconmendable .Two thumbs up .

Saturday : It was pretty much casual , the usuals . Had a good time rocking out during the TEENz P&W . But it was pretty dragged out and tiring towards the end , which resulted to my lack of attention on stage ( I fell asleep Larh... ) . But it was good , got a good chance to worship God .

Jammed out with xi zhe with cool jazz . It was nice to use purely augmented chords . And i have to say , xi zhe is continuously improving .

Firday : Had a gathering with my old classmates .

Yee ling : someone that can " SUAN " you on whatever you said .

Seriously , i was totally shamed by her throughout

the whole gathering everytime I opened my mouth . But she's sweet . ( uhhm . i know what you're thinking... no... )

Mui Poh with her gleeful smile . I have to admit ,

I believe she does have the best smile I can

remember during my life in tebrau .

Yuan Yan , Joshua Gan , and Ho Theng Wei ( Adrain )

Three of my best buddies , One that keep me cool , the other that keeps me laughing ,

and one that reminds me I'm a hippo . But , yeah ... they're great ppl . Love them =] .

It was overall a great pleasure to meet them again . Brings back the memories i had with evryone of them , people tht i quarell with , people that shared Heart-talks with , people that went through the rebellion against HABABI with me . It was a bunch of classmates I really do feel home with . People that I do not feel uncomfortable with , people I can try out my lame jokes , and ppl that would encourage me , and kick hard back in line when I go astray . Some of them ask me if I regreted my choice of leaving tebrau ? .....Everyday boy . . . everyday .

But god always have a plan for us . And I know , I know it is the very best . Therefore I should forget what is behind and strive towards the goal : Heavenward.

Vincent .

If only life could be clearer .

If life could be clearer ,

Mirrors would stand out bright ,

Life could be a stunning flight ,

And this could have been a peaceful night .

If only life could be clearer ,

Misplaced understatements could be feared ,

Unknown difficulties could be perservered ,

And many , many , more could be found deared .

But if life Was clearer ,

What would I find ,

Under that beautiful coloured blind ,

Would I still wish I could ...

Find you in a world where life is clearer .

I am willing .

Valinte Vinceo

PiCs